Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Week 12

I think I must admit that consistency is NOT one of my strengths.  I'm still struggling to keep up with this blog.  I'm committed, though!  Even if I miss a week (or two, or three) I want to try to see it through.  I'm determined.

I think what really motivated me to post tonight was some research I've done over the last few days.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have to wonder about the possibility of being addicted to food.  Addiction is definitely an issue in my family - alcoholic grandparents, a chain-smoking father and brother, and I went through my own addiction to cigarettes in my 20's.  That thought prompted me to visit the amazing Pinterest and search "food addiction" and see what popped up.  A lot of it was mumbo jumbo in my opinion - "Distract yourself from food in these 50 ways!" Pah!  It's not about distraction.  It's about self-medicating with food.  It's about eating a whole bag of chips because an awful parent sent an awful email.  It's about drowning in a container of ice cream because we're so behind on our finances.  There's no chance of distraction there.  It's about a serious emotional connection to eating.

I did find something that seemed relevant, though.  It started with this article.  The article gave some great insight into food addiction and I really resonated with the 8 signs of food addiction.  So I kept reading all the way to the end where it talks about getting help.  It lists a few websites that deal with food addiction and for whatever reason, Food Addicts Anonymous stood out to me - probably because of the name.

I visited the website, which is pretty basic, but also resonated with me.  I started with the "Are You a Food Addict?" page and decided that, yes, I am leaning more and more towards calling myself a food addict.  I looked for a local meeting, but there isn't one.  Their other two options are phone in meetings and email meetings.  I think the introvert in me kicked in and I decided that the email loop would be less daunting.  I signed up and have lurked in the wings for a few days now, still being introverted and too nervous to throw myself out there.  I do have to cut myself some slack though and admit that I have a million questions about the program and the email loop that are not easy to answer using the website or the group page.  That means I will have to work myself up to asking someone.  The thought makes me cringe, so it might take a few days.

Aside from my need to get over myself in regard to jumping in feet first, I am not entirely sold on their premise.  Abstinence is their answer.  Committing to never again have sugar, wheat or flour (here's where my questions bubble up - why are wheat and flour separate?  Any flour? Coconut flour? Almond flour?)  I know when I quit smoking, abstinence was the answer.  I was never a once-in-awhile smoker.  I was either a non-smoker or a two-pack-a-day smoker.  There was no in between for me.  Maybe there is no in between with sugar, wheat and flour, either.  I have to wrap my brain around that idea.  It means never having birthday cake on my birthday again.  It means never having mac'n'cheese again.  At least with Whole 30, those are possibilities.

So the big question becomes, can I go for the rest of my life without these things?  Is it worth it?  My answer right now is, I Don't Know.  I need to research more and delve more into the FAA materials.  I will keep you posted.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Week 10

I want so badly to start this by building a framework of excuses.  I've been so busy.  I've been tired and not feeling well.  I let my husband talk me into cheating.  I'm tired of the program.  Blah, blah, blah.

Let me just be straight.  I am two weeks late with my post.  And I CHEATED.  Yes, I said it.  I cheated on the program.  I wanted to go for a full 365 days with no slip ups.  The reality is, I think I was looking for an excuse to cheat.  I've been staring hard at things I know I can't have.  Not really having those cheater dreams that make you wake up hating yourself, but the wide awake awareness of wanting something else.  Wanting something off program.  Then someone brought doughnuts to work.  Ugh.  My kryptonite.

I can't say what this means.  It makes me think that my body feels it's missing out on something.  Or maybe it's the cravings controlling my sub-conscience.  That's probably more likely.  My plan is to keep going.  I'm not going to let one slip up stop me.  I'm just going to keep evaluating what I've experienced so far and hope that I can get to the heart of what's going on with my body.

On another note, I think Sunday/Monday is the worst time of the week for my to sit down and write.  I'm going to shift to Saturday and see how that works.  I never feel like I have enough time to dedicate to writing on Sunday and Monday.  Maybe that will be different on Saturdays.  Wish me luck!

Monday, September 26, 2016

Week 8

I can't believe I've completed 8 weeks already.  Here's the thing about Whole 30 - you need to plan.  You need to prep ahead of time.  You need some go-to recipes that don't take a ton of time to prep.

My first round of Whole 30, I was spending hours and hours each week prepping and cooking.  It was exhausting!  I had to search and find a whole new set of recipes to use.  All of them were new to me and it took some time to figure out what was worth it and what wasn't.  Now I have a nice little collection of recipes on Pinterest that I go back to over and over again.

I also have some simple methods of cooking veggies that make the process far simpler.  There is nothing better than roasted sweet or regular potatoes - a little olive oil, salt, pepper, broil.  In about 30 minutes, you have the most divine side dish.  My other go-to is just a simple veggie steam.  It keeps so much of the nutrients in the veggies and it works for so many different kinds - broccoli, green beans, artichokes.

I keep lunches simple and take leftover or make some tuna salad - make your own mayonnaise!  It's easy and yummy!  Then I make a version of this casserole that lasts me most of the week for breakfasts.

Whole 30 is doable for a long stretch.  You just can't let your brain win the addiction battle.  I definitely eyeball much of my son's food, like the honey Greek yogurt he had in his lunch today, but I just tell myself it's against the rules.  I'm okay as long as I plan.  It's the times I don't plan that trip me up.  The moral of the story?  Plan, plan, plan!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Week 7

I am soooooo tired.  I have been so exhausted the last two weeks, I couldn't gather my wits to post last week.  Most nights I've been falling asleep on the couch.

I'm kind of caught in a vicious cycle with energy and lack of movement.  We're still in the middle of an epic forest fire.  With back burns and new spots cropping up, the smoke has been horrific.  While I have been mostly symptom free for almost 10 years, my asthma has reared its ugly head.  I find myself wheezing and struggling for air, not to mention dealing with the croupy cough.  The idea of moving too far, inhaling more smoke, and fighting for breath has left me fairly sedentary for the past few weeks.  It's catching up to me.  I think I almost feel worse for lack of movement.  But history has taught me that pushing my limits with my current symptoms will only land me in Urgent Care on a breathing treatment - still one of the most frightening things I've ever experienced.

It all just makes me want to sleep.  That and the late nights I've had the past couple of weeks.

But...my food is still on point.  We actually went to a birthday party last weekend where they served donuts rather than cake.  Ouch.  Donuts are my kryptonite.  Not only did I eat beforehand since I couldn't be sure there would be anything compliant - which there wasn't- I said no to the donut.  They did smell amazing, though.  Mmmm...donuts.

I had a similar experience Sunday at a family event.  I passed up on the fast food everyone else was having and ate when we got home.  It definitely was a winning weekend.  Now my goal is my butt moving.  I just need the darn fire and smoke to stop.


Monday, September 5, 2016

Week 5

I can't tell you how shocked I was to realize yesterday that I have already completed 5 weeks of Whole 30.  While the first week felt rather long, the total length of time feels as if it has flown by.  I know starting back to work has definitely helped with that feeling, but I think it's also due to the fact that the Whole 30 lifestyle is not very foreign to me.

It was a huge help this week that I did a ton of prep work over the weekend.  I didn't have to spend too much energy trying to figure out what I was going to eat each day and that makes the temptation to stray off plan significantly less.

Planning also helped me survive a Labor Day celebration with family and friends.  It was funny.  I got some raised eyebrows for not eating what everyone else was, but nobody said anything.  I was even preparing what I was going to say, but I never had to.

Aside from being exhausted from the start of the school year and trying to figure out how to juggle my own schedule and my son's schedule, it was a pretty uneventful week.  Food was the easy part of the week.  I'm so grateful for that.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Week 4

Good Grief....

Well, needless to say, I fell behind last week.  It was our teacher work week last week and there just weren't enough hours in the day.  I'm currently the outgoing Technology Director AND a full time teacher.  Since we haven't hired a new director yet, it's still me.  So...that meant that last week was all about everyone else.  I had to come in on Saturday just to make my classroom minimally ready for the first day.  That meant dusting and throwing out my trash.  I came home and continued to work.  Then I spent all day Sunday prepping for the rest of the details for the week.

Let me paint a picture of my Sunday.  I spent about three hours working in the morning - lesson plans, setting up Google accounts, trying to figure out our new testing program, etc.  I roasted a whole chicken.  I prepped lunches for my son.  I did ALL the laundry.  I picked out my clothes for the week.  I cooked dinner.  I made chicken stock.  Seriously.  I swear I'm taking no drugs.  I just have that amazing Whole 30 clarity of mind that allowed me to put together a massive to-do list and knock it out of the park.  I haven't felt that accomplished in ages.

Unfortunately, I forgot to blog.  So here we are on Thursday, because despite the extra energy, nobody is infallible.  I'm TIRED.  I've been getting about 6 hours of sleep each night and working my butt off, so I'm wiped.  I'm still playing catch up from my back log last weekend, so it's been just a constant push with little down time.  I literally fell asleep on the couch at 8 p.m. last night.

I apologize for being late, but this week has been even busier than the typical first week of school.  Hopefully, I will make up for lack of sleep this weekend and start next week fresh. :)

Monday, August 22, 2016

Whole 30 Week 3

Ah, week 3.  Still more focused.  Still accomplishing a ton of work.  Ramping up to start back to work.

I'm still having some digestive issues.  I'm not sure what that's all about.  I had issues like this on a previous Whole 30, but as soon as I cut out the caffeine, it cleared up.  Since I'm not drinking caffeine this round, I can't figure out what it is.

I'm also having some bothersome lower back and hip pain.  I'm scheduled to go to the chiropractor in about 10 days, but I'm debating trying to get in to see him earlier.  It's a weird kind of pain that I don't normally experience.  It's more like a deep bone pain than a muscle spasm.  Meh.

Aside from the aches and pains, I'm hanging in there.  Trying to come up with some new recipes so we don't all die of meal boredom.  It occurred to me the other day that I could probably find a way to tweak some of my non compliant meals to make them compliant.  I also tend to add in some non compliant sides for my husband and son.  So week 3....were hanging in there.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Bring On The Mental Focus

Week 2

Ah, the headaches finally subsided.  I dealt with some fatigue during the middle of the week and indulged in a fabulous nap.  By the end of the week, the lovely mental focus had returned.

I commented to my husband Saturday night, that I really just need to stick with Whole 30 forever, because my mental clarity is apparent.  I feel the change as such an obvious difference that I can't believe how often I operate in a fog.  It's crazy.  I can organize my thoughts.  I can set goals and achieve them.  Only two weeks in and I already feel so much better.

We moved into our new house back in May.  I have been promising myself since mid-June that I would square everything away and get it all unpacked before the end of the summer, when I go back to work.  Well I go back on Monday.  Right.  Here is my living room today.



I have attempted over and over again to tackle this disaster.  I would dig into a box and get distracted or discouraged.  Never mind, I'll read instead.  Or play on my tablet.  Or check Facebook.  BAH.

Last week I finally dug out our office, forced my husband to make some decisions, sorted through every box in that room and made decisions about where things should go, finally made a million doctors and dentist appointments I've been putting off, and posted a ton of stuff for sale on Facebook.  Oh, and plowed through about 500 pages of the 5th Outlander book.  BOOM.

I'm only sorry I waited all summer to start the healing.  Maybe this little record will help me in the future.

One other side note, I am realizing that many of my other symptoms are fading - the itchy arm, the achy toe.  I did tweak my back, though, so joint pain is still hanging in there.  Looking forward to more improvements, maybe a little weight loss, and more improvement to my mental state.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Whole 30 Week 1

Oh me oh my oh.

I've done two official rounds of Whole 30.  I've quit eating every kind of sugar twice and given up coffee multiple times.  I've experience the withdrawal migraines.  I'm not sure if my memory of those migraine pains have faded with time, but this week was BRU-TAL.

Days 1 and 2 were by far the worst.  I really experienced the meaning of a skull splitting headache.  Right in the frontal lobe.  And to add insult to injury, I agreed to attend a pizza birthday party with my son on day 2.  That was a definite what was I thinking moment.  I will say, in my defense, it was a Tuesday.  Who thinks a pizza place will be insane on a Tuesday?  The place was crammed to the walls with about a million kids.  At least that's what it felt like.  Big pat on the back to me, though, for saying no to the yummiest looking pizza ever (read - dripping with cheese).

By day 3 I was starting to feel a little bit better.  I didn't wake up with one of the skull splitters.  I did find myself struggling with my go-to breakfast casserole (sweet potatoes, ground pork, green beans, and egg).  It seemed way too salty and I really had to force myself to eat enough both days 3 and 4.  I figured out by day 4 that it had gone bad thanks to some intestinal disturbance.  At this point I was really having a hard time staying full.  I started looking for some ideas on Pinterest for high protein snack ideas.  I decided to just keep it simple and stick to plain protein.  I discovered some compliant lunch meat at Safeway - super delicious!  Now if the medium grade headaches both days would have stayed away, I would have really appreciated it!

Days 5, 6, and 7 were what mostly what I expected.  The headaches continued to decrease, but hung in there longer than I have experienced in the past.  We're dealing with a wild fire close to our house which is causing pretty dense smoke to settle in our area overnight.  I'm thinking that might be contributing to the headaches.  Fridays are called "Pizza Friday" in our house, because I realized years ago that I am just not up for cooking on Friday nights.  My son and husband still had their pizza, but I opted for left-overs.  We even went out to eat on Sunday night where, of course, I had to hound the waiter about ingredients.  Thankfully, he was kind enough to take a picture of the ingredients to their Cajun seasoning.  Surprisingly, it was all herbs!  That meant I had a fantastic piece of salmon with great seasoning.

I look forward to the coming week.  I'm hoping the headaches will finally subside.  I plan to keep an eye on that fire, to make sure it doesn't creep any closer to our home.  And since I'm less than two weeks away from starting my first day back to work teaching, I want to try to focus on finally getting our house unpacked.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

And Away We Go...

Here we are - Day 1.

Let's start with the awful facts.

Current measurements (inches):
Neck - 15.25
Bust - 41
Under Bust - 36.5
Waist - 39.5
Belly - 38.75
Hips - 43
Arms - 14
Thighs - 25
Butt - 44.75
Calves - 16.5
Pant/Dress Size - 14
Weight (gulp) - 200.4 pounds

Taking measurements this morning and posting them now was and is extremely painful and fairly mortifying.  Just a few months ago, I was a size 12 and several inches smaller all the way around.  Needless to say, I have seriously slacked off and the effect is obvious.  I am ashamed of myself and the excuses I have been making for all of those months.

Let me take a moment for my personal pity party.

Okay, done.  Let's move on.  I have 365 days ahead of me to count my successes and undo the poor choices of the past months.  Let's get real.  I've been making poor food choices for YEARS.  I am so over it.  So sick of it.  Tired of the mindless eating, the food hiding, the secret overeating.  DONE.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Whole 365 - Why?

Yup, you read that right, Whole 365.

For those of you who have never heard of Whole 30, it is an amazing food discovery program.  Notice I say program and not diet.  The premise of the program is there are many, many items we eat on a daily basis that are not really food, even though the manufacturers out there would like to argue otherwise.  We eat things that are either what some like to call "Frankenfoods", things that contain some real food elements and some man made elements or they are completely man made altogether.  The Whole 30 program argues that our bodies are just not meant to process those kinds of "foods" and by consuming such items, we do damage in multiple ways to our bodies, that run the gamut from mental to physical issues. Whole 30 challenges you to eliminate all such evil "foods", in addition to foods that are known to cause issues or allergies for many people, like wheat, for 30 days.  This is to give your body a chance to heal and function properly.  For more information, check out whole30.com.

I have done two full rounds of the Whole 30 program, plus some shorter stints, with amazing results.  Needless to say, when you cut out garbage, you will lose weight.  My own loss was ten pounds over 30 days.  I also dropped two pants sizes after that first round. But as the creators of the program will tell you, weight loss is not the goal, it's just a nifty side effect.  For me, I think the most significant benefit of the program was the improvement in my overall mental health.  Prior to my first round in January 2015, I was short-tempered and cranky.  ALL. THE. TIME.  Everyone annoyed me constantly and I would snap at people (mostly my poor husband) with little to no provocation.  I was also constantly fatigued, often falling asleep on the couch as early as 8 p.m. each night.  About two weeks into my first round I found that stress hardly affected me anymore.  I often joked that I had found my Zen place.  My energy level increased, as well.  I found myself needing less sleep and thriving on the sleep I did get.  I felt ready to face any challenge and rarely felt overwhelmed by the needs and requests of others.

In addition to the significant mental improvements, I found a decrease in a variety of small physical complaints I had been facing for some time.  For example, for a few months prior to my first Whole 30, I experienced a frequent mild ache in one of my big toes (not gout).  It didn't impair my activity in any way - I was still able to run several miles with no issues.  It was just there and noticeable.  About three weeks into that first round, I realized it was gone.  No fanfare, just gone.  There was the patch of itchy skin on my forearm.  Gone after Whole 30.  Lower back pain - significantly reduced after Whole 30.

If you can't tell by now, I am a big believer in the Whole 30 program.  I have never felt as good as I did when eating real food and eliminating garbage from my diet.  BUT (there's always a BUT, right?).  I faced some struggles post-Whole 30.  1) The reintroduction phase didn't work well for me.  The program encourages you to reintroduce individual food groups you previously eliminated from your diet like wheat and dairy.  While I followed the program as suggested, I feel like there should be more time in between each food reintroduction.  The program suggests three days between each food.  I think, for me, a week or two might be more realistic.  2) I didn't tame what the program calls the "Sugar Dragon".  I didn't binge on fruits initially, but I did treat my banana and almond butter as a dessert, which is a big no no on the program.  I then started OD-ing on dried fruit, another big no no. 3) I have some heavy duty food related issues going on.  My feeling is that I have some pretty addictive behavior when it comes to food.  After my second round of Whole 30, I knew I wanted to take an extended break from Whole 30, eat some foods way off-program, and enjoy some events that are hard to stay on-program with.  I tried to moderate my food choices and mostly stick to a Whole 30 type diet, but I quickly found myself demonstrating what I believe is addictive behavior - mostly hiding the crap I was eating from people around me.  This last one is a big one.  It's made me begin to think I might need some therapy to help with my mental health in this area.  I haven't decided on that yet, but I do feel that an extended round of Whole 30 and food deprogramming might be a big help, too.

That's where the Whole 365 comes in.  I have a lot of hopes for a whole year of Whole 30 eating.  The first being as a mentioned above, a reprogramming of my food habits and attitude towards food.  Of course, I'm hoping for the weight loss, too.  At 5'8", I'm far too close to 200 pounds to be healthy or comfortable in my skin.  I look forward to the extended time period of mental clarity and stability.  I hope the combined weight loss and other health improvements will help my husband and I finally have the second child we have been trying for for years.  Recently, through blood tests, I discovered that I am not absorbing vitamin B12 correctly.  Think that might be related to digestive health?  I do.  I also have to guess that there may be other strange little health issues I have lived with for a long time that will clear up as my body has an extended time to heal.

So here is my plan....on August 1st, I will embark on ONE YEAR of eating according to the Whole 30 program.  That means no wheat, no dairy, no legumes, no grains, no sugar for one year.  Oh, and just for good measure, I'm eliminating caffeine, too (read: Monday will suck big time).  Come with me.  Help me stay accountable.  I will officially start with my related posts on August 1st and continue with updates every Monday for the following year.  I will put it all out there for you, weight, measurements, pics and all.  Wish me luck!